Chicago, Meet Basketball Idiots
by kuaispeed
Summary: In which assorted basketball idiots (most of them with magic) gallivant across Harry Dresden's Chicago. [A collection of Kuroko no Basuke/Dresden Files fusion-crossover ficlets]
1. Takao Meets Harry Dresden

**A/N: **This is set in a theoretical future where the KuroBasu characters are in their twenties/thirties. Liberties with the Dresden Files universe may be taken as I'm basically stealing its magical setting and history to throw the KuroBasu people in.

Because I cannot longfic, chapters will be unrelated unless stated otherwise.

Enjoy!

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**About this chapter: **ft. Shintarou Midorima, Kazunari Takao, a cameo by Harry Dresden, continuous MidoTaka subtext

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Midorima scowled at the back of an unfortunate fellow commuter's head as he evaluated the day's horoscope rankings.

Due to the time difference between Tokyo and Chicago, he received the day's rankings at 6pm the day before they were relevant. Cancer had been an acceptable third, and the orange phone charm that was his lucky item had been easily procured. Unfortunately, Scorpio was in tenth place again. This was the fourth time in a row Scorpio ranked so poorly, and Midorima was determined to acquire the white porcelain tea set that promised to ensure Takao's safety for the day. Unfortunately, all the nearest antique stores in the vicinity had been closed by the time Oha Asa had ended, and Midorima had been forced to wait until the next day to obtain it.

This meant Midorima had woken up at eight in the morning, snuck out of their shared bedroom, and visited three different antique stores to find a suitably large tea set. By the time it had been paid for and wrapped up, it was almost ten in the morning and Midorima was forced to head directly to the conference centre for his radiology conference, rather than drop off Takao's lucky item beforehand as he had planned.

_[shin-chan, dont waste ur time getting my lucky item! __＼__(°o°__；__) u dont wanna miss ur talk!__]_

Midorima redirected his scowl to his helpless phone, which displayed a worried text from Takao. His hands full with the tea set, as well as the crowded bus prevented him from sending a suitably irritated response. His phone vibrated again.

_[Shintarou, be cautious while you attend your radiology conference today. Reo has informed me that Undertown is unusually restless at the moment. Furthermore, Ryouta admits his White Court associates are on edge, and Tatsuya has collaborated on this. I understand this conference is vital for your career, and is thus unavoidable. Do take care. Send my regards to Kazunari as well.]_

Upon reaching the conference centre, Midorima set Takao's lucky item on the nearest side table before replying to his messages. To Akashi, he sent a swift affirmation of his warning. To Takao, he was decidedly more eloquent.

_[Do not be ridiculous, Takao. I would not forget a conference so easily, especially one of such importance as this. Of course, I have obtained your lucky item. Stay at home until I return with it.]_

Seconds later, he received a reply. It was a photo of Takao posing outside the Field Museum of Natural History accompanied by the caption:

_[too late~ im alr at the museum! __(__｡__◝‿◜__｡__)]_

Midorima resisted the urge to throw his phone across the hall. He was a newly minted radiologist about to give a talk to a hall full of doctors at least ten years his senior. He was not going to descend to Takao's level or, gods forbid, _Aomine's_ right before his talk.

Collecting himself with a deep breath, he picked up Takao's tea set and made his way to the registration table. He had an important radiology talk in half an hour, and he was _not_ going make a fool of himself.

* * *

Takao chuckled to himself as he sent his text to Midorima.

_Shin-chan worries way too much. Even if Scorpio is in 10__th__ place, that doesn't mean I have to stay bundled up at home!_

He hummed a short tune as he leaned back on the steps leading up to the Field Museum, stopping when he felt his phone vibrate in his jacket pocket.

_[As you clearly wish to tempt fate, in order to avoid inviting more horrible luck than that you already have, stay near white objects as much as possible, especially ceramic tea sets.]_

_[relax shin-chan, seriously!]_

Takao fired back his response, checking the time as he did so. It was just past eleven, which meant Midorima would probably not reply until three, since he had a very strict no-casual-phone-use rule whenever he was doing anything related to his job. As such, Takao had roughly three to four hours to kill before going to surprise Midorima at his conference centre with a taxi. He had briefly considered bringing the rickshaw, but dismissed that idea almost immediately. He didn't care how practical a wooden cart and bicycle was as a mode of non-technological transport, his calves (and dignity) would thank him for it. Besides, Chicago wasn't exactly rearcar-and-bicycle friendly, and Takao rightfully feared for his life at the thought of pedalling through the city rush hour. Scooping up his sports bag (currently performing admirably well as his tourist bag); Takao began to make his way up the stairs to buy a week pass for the museum.

The sound of a screeching car interrupted his thoughts. Takao naturally looked up in alarm.

He was greeted by the sight of a tri-colour patchwork Volkswagen Beetle skidding to a halt in front of the lowest steps. A tall American in a dark leather duster quickly bailed out of it, scrambling up the steps as a large creature smashed into the car's side, turning it into scrap metal. It had long shaggy fur, with a whip-like tail and long claws on its massive paws. A miasma of burnt rubber and smoke surrounded it as the creature roared, exposing a pair of saber-tooth fangs.

Wisely enough, most people started running away at the sight of it.

Takao started running towards the American pointing a staff at the creature. The runes on the man's staff shone bright blue before a blast of concussive force erupted from its tip.

"Forzare!"

The creature was shoved backwards, tail flailing wildly. Unfortunately, it recovered quickly, bounding forward to lunge at the wizard. The wizard dodged to the side hastily, barely avoiding falling down the stairs. Instead, he ended up clipped by the creature's tail, skidding to rest against one of the pillars in front of the Field Museum. Takao winced as the creature stalked towards the wizard, drawing out five pieces of paper and a small bottle of ink from the side pocket of his backpack.

_Think, Kazunari._ A creature like this was clearly a fusion between at least two animals, making it a chimera. Chimeras were commonly rooted in Earth or Fire, the harsh and strong elements, putting him at a disadvantage. His own _ki_ was rooted in Air, and would have either strengthened the chimera or been utterly useless.

_Which means I can't just blast it. I need to do a Banishment Rite instead._

Takao quickly glanced up to check the position of the chimera. The wizard seemed to have recovered, for he had shoved his wooden staff into the chimera's face and unleashed a burst of fire with a shout of pseudo-Latin. The chimera recoiled, batting at its burnt muzzle frantically. It shook its head vigorously and bared its teeth as it took a couple measured steps away from the wizard, who took this moment to get on his feet and advance on the chimera, sending concerted blasts of force or flame at it each time he swung his staff.

Takao quickly wrote the kanji of the Five Elements onto his paper strips, using the brush to infuse _ki_ into them. He flung the first ofuda at the chimera, beginning his rite as it flew through the air, ink glowing in an orange light from the energy embedded in it.

_"__Sea barrier rages on, tall waves crash against the cliff. An ocean drowns you."_

The ofuda slammed into the chimera, sparks of orange flashing around it. The other four soon followed suit, more of the same orange energy crackling over the chimera's hide.

_"__Embers spark anew, flames begin to rise. Quickly. Fire engulfs wholly. Stone pillars build up, constricting around your body. The earth encloses. Everywhere, strong winds blow. Spiralling tornadoes form, choking out your breath. The darkness descends; you are cast into the void, your mind drifts away."_

The crackling energy swallowed the chimera, cocooning it in a bright light.

_"__With these five aspects, I banish you from this realm, Takao commands!"_

The chimera screeched as it burnt up, disintegrating into a pile of ashes. The wizard Takao had just saved stared blankly at it, before meeting his gaze from across the steps. Takao reached to pick up his bag, gathering up his ink and brush.

"Well, I have to admit that was an impressive lightshow."

* * *

The Asian tourist that had just incinerated my Monster of the Week with five pieces of paper grinned, looking up at me from his crouched position. He stays where he is as I approach. He has short black hair, with a yellow headband holding back his fringe. A bright orange sports bag dangles loosely from his left hand, his right still holding on to a bottle of black ink and dripping brush.

"I'll take that as a compliment," he said cheerfully, barest hint of an accent in his voice. "Takes quite a bit of energy to make it though. I'm Takao."

"Harry Dresden."

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**Up next:** Nigou meets Mouse


	2. Nigou and Mouse

**A/N: **So, this one ends really awkwardly, and I'm sorry for that.

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**About this chapter: **ft. Harry Dresden, Mouse, Tetsuya Kuroko, Tetsuya "Nigou" #2, brief mentions of Kagami, Alex, Himuro and Murasakibara.

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Dogs are great. They don't judge you for your shitty job, horrendous love life, insane family, or lack of hygiene. They are great sounding boards and conversationalists, mainly because their only reply is to bark or lick you better. They make great radiators in winter, lousy heat sinks in summer, and comfy pillows all year round. They make great protection detail too, with their loyal, protective natures, sharp teeth and claws, evil-detecting instincts and spiritually enforced barks.

Or maybe that's just my dog.

Mouse is what people call a Temple Dog, the offspring of celestial Foo Dogs and mortal canines. I had gotten him as a fluffy little puppy the size of my hand, but obviously, Mouse had pulled a Clifford the Big Grey Dog on me. Four years after I got him, he now comes up to my stomach, and considering I usually have to duck under doorways, it scared me a bit when I found out he was still the equivalent of a doggie teenager.

As the responsible dog owner I was, I had taken Mouse out for a walk. For a teenager, I must say, Mouse was a remarkably well behaved one. He stayed on the sidewalk, kept the leash pulling and casual tackling of pedestrians to a minimum, and did his business with almost no fuss.

We were jogging past a small park when a black and white dog ran across our path. Even though it looked rather large, I was amused to see that the new dog was still a good head shorter than Mouse. It barked at Mouse happily while I took the opportunity to rest my legs.

I watched in bemusement as both dogs spend a good minute or so just wagging tails at each other, circling and barking at each other occasionally.

"Ah, Nigou, don't bother that dog," a soft voice called out.

"I apologise for Nigou, Mr. Dresden. It's good to see you when you're not busy."

_Huh?_ I jumped in surprise as a short figure appeared out of nowhere slightly further down the path. Forcing my heart to slow down, I looked at the newcomer.

First, he was of average height, meaning he barely hit eye level with my chest. Second, his hair was a vivid light blue colour I'm pretty sure my budding young apprentice and resident gothic nerd, had worn to Splattercon! – exclamation marks compulsory – before. Third, he had large piercing blue eyes that I immediately averted my eyes from.

They say the eyes are windows to the soul. For wizards like me, that's not a metaphor. When a wizard looks into someone's eyes long enough, a soulgaze starts. They reveal the true depth of someone's soul. It can't be faked or forgotten, and will remain in your memory as if it had just happened regardless of when you recall it, which is why I tend to avoid doing them as often as possible. It goes both ways, and I really did not want to expose a random dog owner to my soul.

"Do I know you?"

"I'm hurt, Mr. Dresden. I've been living directly across from the Carpenter's for three years." He said blandly.

"Oh." This was completely new information for me.

"So, uh…"

"Call me Kuroko." He continued, tilting his head upwards.

"Kuroko. Do you come here often?"

Kuroko nodded as he called Nigou to heel.

"Quite often, yes. My friends and I play basketball here every weekend."

We ended up walking together, Nigou and Mouse trotting along cheerfully next to us.

"Ah, Kagami-kun and the others are already here." Kuroko commented as we reached the basketball court, where a tall redhead with weird eyebrows and another person with an eye artistically hidden by his black fringe were already playing on the court. An athletic-looking blonde lady with glasses and a sleepy-looking giant with purple hair (seriously?) were munching on potato chips as they watched the two play.

Mouse and I parted ways with Kuroko and Nigou after that, especially since I realised that the redhead was terrified of dogs. I wasn't about to subject a person with cynophobia to Mouse. No matter how much Mouse was a gentle giant; even seasoned bodyguards approached Mouse with a healthy fear and respect.

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**Up next: **Thomas and Kise, probably.


End file.
